Oct 13 - which side is the date backing?
Iron Omen: Does Jonny have a birthday present for Maggie?
With the World Cup proving fiendishly hard to predict, we've turned to science and history in an attempt to win back all the money we lost last weekend.
We've had a trawl through the history books to see whether the date favours one of Saturday's sides over the other - will October 13 look more kindly on France or England?
We are sure you'll agree that our methods will stand up to rigorous academic scrutiny, and we are keeping the lines free for that call from the Nobel Academy ... or perhaps our physician - we're not fussy, first come first served.
So, without further ado, strap yourself in as we take a trip into the murky past of human achievement!
OCTOBER 13 - ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY...
Year: 1307
Event: Hundreds of Knights Templar are simultaneously arrested by agents of Phillip the Fair and tortured for heresy - Tom Hanks escapes injury, unfortunately.
Omens: Crusaders, bearing white mantles with a distinct red cross, made to suffer by the King of France?
Verdict: France rack up the points. FRANCE
Year: 1773
Event: The Whirlpool Galaxy is discovered by Charles Messier.
Omens: Bravo, clever Frenchman!
Verdict: French stars shine. FRANCE
Year: 1812
Event: Battle of Queenston Heights takes place - United States forces under General Stephen Van Rensselaer are repulsed from invading Canada by British and native troops led by Sir Isaac Brock.
Omens: Hurrah! Hang out the bunting on the Mall.
Verdict: Brave Brits do their bit. ENGLAND
Year: 1768
Event: Jacques Félix Emmanuel Hamelin, a rear admiral of the French navy and later a Baron, is born. He commanded numerous naval expeditions and battles with the British Navy as well as exploratory voyages in the Indian Ocean and the South Seas.
Omens: French adventure wins the day?
Verdict: France set sail for the Final. FRANCE
Year: 1792
Event: Cornerstone of White House laid at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington.
Omens: White is the colour.
Verdict: The match goes to England. ENGLAND
Year: 1884
Event: Greenwich established as universal time meridian of longitude.
Omens: Official - London is the centre of the earth.
Verdict: It's England's time. ENGLAND
Year: 1917
Event: The 'Miracle of the Sun' is witnessed by an estimated 70,000 persons in the Cova da Iria in Fatima, Portugal.
Omens: The English and the sun are virtual strangers.
Verdict: The heavens shine on the French. FRANCE
Year: 1925
Event: Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is born in Grantham, Lincolnshire.
Omens: Iron resolve smashes opponents into smithereens?
Verdict: What ya reckon? ENGLAND
Year: 1935
Event: Buck Ruxton, a doctor from Lancaster, is charged with the murder of his maid. He chopped her up and floated the parts down the river. He later did the same with his common-law wife. Yep, a charmer.
Omens: Naughty Englishman.
Verdict: English all cut up and severely punished.FRANCE
Year: 1941
Event: Singer-songwriter Paul Simon is born in Newark, New Jersey.
Omens: Here's to you, Jason Robinson.
Verdict: England on song. ENGLAND
Year: 1943
Event: American poet Robert Lowell is sentenced to jail for a year for evading the draft in protest of the Allies' saturation bombing in Europe.
Omens: Failure to stand up in the defence of France?
Verdict: Unmanned French lines penetrated at will. ENGLAND
Year: 1943
Event: Italian government declares war on Germany, its former Axis partner, and joins the battle on the side of the Allies.
Omens: Blue side realises the game is up?
Verdict: Blood, sweat and tears do the job. ENGLAND
Year: 1944
Event: Riga, the capital of Latvia, is seized by the Red Army during World War II.
Omens: For better or for worse, England's new 'alternative' strip is red.
Verdict: Red Army marches on to victory. ENGLAND
Year: 1946
Event: France adopts the constitution of the Fourth Republic, leading to an era of great economic growth and the rebuilding of battered industry.
Omens: Happy days in France?
Verdict: Vive la France! FRANCE
Year: 1957
Event: Movie audiences in America are treated to the premiere of science-fiction thriller 'The Amazing Colossal Man'.
Omens: Is it a prophetic biopic of the life of Simon Shaw - or Sébastien Chabal?
Verdict: Over-sized honours shared. DRAW
Year: 1971
Event: Sacha Baron Cohen, British comedian, is born in Hammersmith, London.
Omens: Staines gangsta frustrates the boys in blue?
Verdict: English wit leaves French flummoxed. ENGLAND
FINAL RESULT: FRANCE 6 ENGLAND 9
So, there we have it! History is pointing to a convincing win for the reigning champs! Join us tomorrow for the tea-leaf challenge...
Groundbreaking investigation undertaken by Andy Jackson